Does your child’s self-esteem rise and fall like a roller coaster? Sometimes they are full of fun and life and then other times they are falling to pieces because someone wouldn’t play with them?
Does your child’s self-esteem take a hit when they make a mistake or can’t do something new?
If yes, they probably have a roller coaster self self esteem that goes up and down when things happen to them in their lives that they are either not prepared for or they don’t know how to handle.
Helping kids with their mindset, that is, helping them to take more control over how they perceive their world around them, can help to alleviate some of this roller coaster self esteem and put them in a place where they understand they can CHOOSE to think and feel differently about things.
Most kids (and a lot of adults) draw conclusions about their worthiness based on what is happening in their lives rather than how they think about themselves inside. They seek external validation , which of course is perfectly natural, but we want them to feel good about themselves inside, without the need for others approval.
We want our kids to be happy with themselves and the person they are rather than always being worried about what others are doing or thinking of them. Because we know that we can’t control the events that happen outside of us, but we can control how we respond to them.
So when kids feel happy within themselves, happy with who they are – they are less likely to fall over when someone doesn’t like them or want to play with them. When they make a mistake they are less likely to blame themselves and more likely to see it as a bump in the road, or even better, an opportunity to learn something new.
Having a growth mindset is a powerful tool that helps to build self-esteem and self confidence in kids. I talk a lot about how to do that in my DIY Parents e-course and my soon to be released e-book for kids on ‘How to build a Growth Mindset’ (coming in January 2022).
In the meantime here are some tips to help your child build their own self-esteem…………..
- Share this blog post with them and explain the difference between how we feel about ourselves and what happens around us and the importance of liking ourselves first.
- Talk about how the events around us are things that happen to us, they don’t reflect who we are. Remind them we have the ability to choose how we respond to these events. Mistakes happen to everyone, seeing them as an opportunity to learn is building our growth mindset. Remind them that its ok to be disappointed and feel those feelings, but its not ok to beat themselves up.
- Remind your child of their uniqueness, that they bring their own special gifts to the world and they are unlike anyone else, so comparing themselves to others is wasted energy. They are good enough as they are.
Start with these little reminders and reach out to me if you think your child is struggling with their self esteem. You can contact me via email: email@example.com